The Tail Of Bulma
by Grande Crosse
Summary: You think you know Bulma Briefs, but you really don't. The truth may shock you. Now with revised chapter!
1. Goku's Stupid Wish

**The Tail Of Bulma  
** A Dragon Ball Z Fanfiction

* * *

[Disclaimer]

I don't own this, that, or the other thing. I also didn't make any profit from this story, so please don't sue me. All characters, events and places are fictional, any relation or semblance to anything in reality is purely coincidence.

If you're confused about the perspective shifts then pleas keep in mind that when the story is in third person it's relating to present events, first person perspective is relating past events. And if the first person is a bit odd then please bare in mind that I'm a male writing a female's perspective. As for the contents of this story arc it is based on events from both the Namek Saga and the original _Dragon Ball_ , but from an alternate universe as Bulma is a saiyan in this story.

I hope you enjoy the story and review and, as always, please leave any feedback or constructive criticism. That is all.

* * *

[Goku's Stupid Wish]

Namek was everything that Bulma Briefs imagined an alien planet would be. Strange alien sky, strange alien waters, and strange alien plants that wanted to eat you. Throw in the incredibly strong ale that one of the locals introduced her to, and the brawls with the enemy soldiers, and she was having a real blast.

 _If we weren't here racing against an alien war lord for the namekian dragon balls for the fate of the galaxy, and perhaps the fate of the universe as well, this would be my ideal vacation..._

 _On second thought_ , Bulma thought to herself, _I usually find myself fighting for the fate of the world while on vacation anyhow_.

So maybe this really would be her ideal vacation after all.

Right now, though, she was perhaps just a teensy bit bored. She had been left behind, ostensibly to look after her group's campsite. But, considering that the campsite was just an over-sized cave where they had deployed her favorite capsule house she used whenever she went dragon ball hunting, she knew better. Being a saiyan, although not by birth, she was obviously stronger than any of the other regulars in her dragon ball hunting party with perhaps the exception of Son Goku or Gohan. It was perhaps because of that strength that she was being kept in reserve, and also to keep an eye on the injured Vegeta.

They had found him a few hours earlier, near death with some grievous wounds that made her, Gohan, and Krillin wonder just how he had managed to survive before they had found him laying in a crater. Personally she thought it was pure spite keeping the man going, she was at a lost to explain it any other way. He didn't have any friends or family, what remained of his people were scattered across the cosmos, and his only home, if you could even call it that, had been destroyed long ago. If it weren't for his underlings, Nappa and Raditz, he would have been entirely left alone in the universe.

Rather than fear, she felt a great deal of pity for the man who would have been king had events played out differently for his people. Although he probably would not welcome the pity because of his false sense of pride.

She was taking stock of their medical supplies which consisted of salves and potions she had developed, deriving them from master Korin's senzu beans. Bulma had stocked enough for an entire battalion, knowing how badly they could all get injured on a typical dragon ball hunt. And that was just fighting tin pot dictators, men in mobile suits, and the odd beastman, not galactic tyrants bent on universal domination. Hopefully this was all they would need on the trip and they wouldn't need something more drastic like the dragon balls, because she had always hated to rely on them to solve their problems.

Suddenly she became aware that she was being watched, causing the fur on her tail to stand up. "I know you're awake, Vegeta." Bulma said, not looking up from her work. "You probably shouldn't get up right this second. My salves and potions are pretty effective, but do please give them enough time to do their work." She continued, knowing that he was trying to get up.

Indeed, he was having difficulty even sitting. So he decided that he would bide his time and gather his strength. But first he had to put the woman in her place. "You best curb your tounge, woman. I am..."

"'I am the prince of all saiyans!' I know but like I said the first time we met, I am not a real saiyan. And you're not the boss of me." Bulma chided him, finally looking up from her manifest.

Vegeta clicked his tounge loudly and then laid down angrily, it was most certainly wasn't because his injuries were protesting against him sitting up. But there was something on his mind, something that had been on his mind ever since he had met the unusual saiyan woman.

Something that she had brought back to his mind now that she had said it again. But how to ask her?

Almost as if she had read Vegeta's mind, Bulma spoke up "You're probably wondering what I mean when I say I'm not a real saiyan, aren't you?"

"The thought might have crossed my mind. But don't take it the wrong way, it's not like I'm interested in you or anything! It's just that it could mean the revival of the saiyan race after I'm done destroying Frieza."

Bulma snickered to herself at Vegeta's denial of interest in her, not that she could blame him if he were interested. Real saiyan or no, she was probably the first female saiyan he had met his entire life knowing his back story.

But how to explain it to him? She took a moment to wheel around her chair until she was sitting near Vegeta, allowing her blue furred tail to unloop from around her waist and under her yellow and black jacket. "Well, it happened because of the dragon balls on chikyuu." She said finally.

Vegeta looked at her in confusion, not quite believing it. "You mean you wished to be a saiyan?"

"Don't be stupid." Bulma immediately replied, shaking her head. She stroked her tail, which had curled up into her lap, absentmindedly. It was a habit she had whenever she was in deep thought. "It was years and years ago, back before any of us even knew what a saiyan was."

And then she began to tell her story...

* * *

I live in a strange and wonderful world, I'm sure you would agree if you were to stop there and take it all in instead of trying to destroy it as you have done on other planets. How many other wonderful things have been lost forever simply because of your need to avenge yourself upon Frieza?

There are titanic lizards of unbelievable power, size, and majesty. Breath taking dragons of unimaginable beauty and ferocity. Beastmen, talking animals, might and magic. And then there were the mysterious dragon balls.

When I first found one by accident, the two-star dragon ball, I didn't know what it was. It was small, barely the size of a regulation sized baseball, it was a cloudy orange that I couldn't see through and yet I could clearly see the two reddish orange stars floating in its depths as if they were submerged in water. Every test I ran in my laboratory indicated that it was nothing more than ordinary stone despite its appearance and found that it was giving off a subtle electromagnetic wave, which was how I developed my first dragon radar. And to my surprise there were apparently six more of these orbs somewhere out there in the world.

They had to have some kind of history, and so I began to do research into the orbs. Looking back now, I'm surprised that these objects of near limitless power left so little impact on history. Because no matter how much I dug into it, or what historian I brought it to, there wasn't anything concrete about them anywhere. All I knew for sure was that it was tied to an ancient dragon named Shenlon and it was somehow part of the creation of the Gardia kingdom(1). I had just brought it to West City University, with no results to show for it, and was on my way home.

It was a beautiful spring day and so I decided to walk for a change, besides it wasn't that far from home. And all of a sudden something caught my eye while still on campus. It was something like a carnival tent. It was tall, thin, and very colorful. It wasn't like it was in the middle of the street, but the campus was still very busy. West City University, even now, is an extremely busy campus with one of the largest student bodies around after all.

And yet no one else seemed to have even noticed the tent, it was like it wasn't even there at all. My curiosity peaked I went on over to the tent, barely noticing as the crowd parted around me without paying me slightest bit of attention. It was all so odd, like something out of a dream or vision. Who knows? Maybe it was?

The inside of the tent was small, barely big enough for two people, and at the center of it was an old woman shrunken with age. She was wearing intricate black robes with the crest for Hogwarts on her right breast, making me wonder if she had been a student or a teacher there at one point, and the most amazing thing was that she was sitting on top of a floating crystal ball.

In short, she was the quintessential witch. Her eyes were closed, making me think that she was asleep at first. "Bulma Briefs, you are seeking answers. Answers about that orb in your bag." She spoke, her lips not moving. In this altered state, I wasn't even surprised by anything she said or the fact that she said it without opening her mouth. It was like I was expecting it.

Automatically I pulled out the small orb, and said "You know what this is." Belatedly, I released that I said it without moving my own lips either. Again, I was neither alarmed nor surprised.

The old witch nodded her head in the affirmative. "As you already surmised, it is no ordinary stone despite what your best equipment and most thorough tests indicate. Indeed, it is a most powerful and sacred relic. It is a dragon ball, created by Kami-sama himself so it might give humanity hope and courage. Just one of seven that lay hidden in the world, waiting to be reunited with each other. When they are brought together and you call upon the mighty eternal dragon's name he will appear and grant almost any wish your heart should desire."

I was confused about why the strange witch was telling me all this. If she already knew my name without me having introduced myself then she should already know that I was a blessed girl. I already had fame, wealth, beauty, and brains. What would I have need for that I would require a dragon to grant me? Although there was one thing that I didn't have at that time that up until that moment I didn't even realize that I craved. Something that all my blessings couldn't grant me. Friendship and companionship.

"I tell you these things because there is one who has divined the purpose of the dragon balls and intends to use them to their full effect and rule the world. I tell you these things because I see the wish written on your heart. And even if it, too, is a selfish wish no one would fault you for wishing for it although I know not if it can even be granted by the dragon. And, lastly, I tell you because it is a fixed point that you will journey forth and collect the dragon balls, and I believe you can stop this individual from fulfilling his dream."

"I see." I replied, although I didn't really. I looked into the cloudy depths of the dragon ball, as if there might be answers there. There weren't. I wasn't sure how much I believed what I was hearing. Sure, magic existed but wish granting dragons and hidden destinies were pretty much the stuff of fantasy novels and classic manga. Plots of world domination I could believe as the Red Ribon Army was still active at the time, despite the best efforts of peace keeping forces to resist and stop them.

But really, what did I have to lose? Even if nothing that the witch had told me were true, it seemed like it would be a fun adventure. I had the wits to see such a trip through to the end, and the ability to track the dragon balls down. And, to be honest, I found myself getting bored at school as of late. And with summer vacation coming up soon it would be the perfect time to go, not that I always attended classes. So I was decided, I would go seek out the dragon balls.

I looked up and the spell or dream or vision or whatever was broken as sudden as it had started. The tent I had been standing in was gone, the old witch was gone, the crystal ball was gone. Just me standing on the side of the path, the two-star dragon ball in hand...

In the days that followed I prepared as best as I could for the voyage ahead carefully packing practical clothes, non-perishable food, potable water, first-aid, a stun gun, a house capsule, and an array of off road vehicle capsules. And I also worked on making a portable dragon radar since the first one I made was pretty much immobile and unsuitable for travel. I didn't have much time and the best I could do was a boxy, foldable unit about as big as your typical hand bag(2).

That was it, I was now as ready as I was going to be. A few days later, after summer break started, I was off on my very first dragon ball hunt...

I won't bore you about everything that followed in full detail, Vegeta. But I had met several people on the adventure, most of whom you've already met. Some of them became great friends during the trip and remained so over the years, but we also made enemies along the way as we had run ins with the Red Ribon Army for the first time. I'm not ashamed to admit I was scared at the time, I was still just a normal human girl at that point.

You probably don't know who they were but at one time the Red Ribbon Army had a large following. They were really obsessed with their version of a utopia, a one-world nation purged of racial impurities. They brutally executed beastmen, those with birth defects and mental problems, gays, gypsies, and, for some strange reason, lefties which would include me. I have a feeling they'd get on great with that Frieza guy, either that or they'd destroy each other one.

Because of their aim for world domination, I felt certain that they'd be the ones I had been warned about but they weren't in the end. They probably didn't even know of the dragon balls although they would latter learn of them. Instead it was a sawed off pipsqueak, a blue imp that fancied himself an emperor, by the name of Pilaf. It was like one of those games where you fight a series of increasingly worse enemies and, after all that build up, the end boss was something lame.

Embarrassingly enough, though, he had managed to catch us and take our dragon balls. Goku, Oolong, Puar, Yamcha, and myself were trapped in a concrete room. Pilaf was outside preparing to summon Shenlon, the walls were closing in and things were looking pretty bad for us. Suddenly Yamcha had a desperate idea for Goku to use the Kamehaheha wave that he learned from Mutten Roshi but had yet to fully master.

He charged up the attack over the course of what felt like several episodes full of close ups of his heavy breathing(3), but was in actuality a couple seconds max. He failed to brace himself properly, though, and was sent through the wall he was facing away from. Which was just as well because he was firing it off in the wrong direction anyhow. Luckily it left a hole big enough for the rest of us to escape the trap.

Pilaf had already successfully summoned the mighty dragon, but Goku stopped him from making his wish. He had knocked Pilaf out for the count along with his followers, all two of them. Like I said, lame right? The very definition of the anti-climax.

By the time the rest of us had joined Goku, he was greeting Shenlon in a jovial manner. I'm not sure if he knew what to make of that.

And, once again, I found myself with nothing to wish for. I had started out thinking to wish for the dragon to grant me friendship, something that I was lacking at the beginning of my quest. But now I had a circle of friends, people I could trust. People that wouldn't treat me differently if I were to tell them exactly who I was.

But Oolong opened his mouth to make his own wish, which I interrupted by smacking him with a large paper fan that I pulled out of no where. Knowing him it would be a pointless and perverted wish anyhow. Besides Goku had just saved us from a gruesome end, as well as the world, and the rest of us were of the opinion that he should be the one to have the wish.

He seemed stuck on what to wish for, but suddenly he had an idea. And then made the wish that made me immediately regret interrupting Oolong, "I know! I wish that Bulma had a tail like me."

Everyone else turned to me in shock. I couldn't see the look on my face, but I imagine that my eyes grew to the size of diner plates at that point. The dragon actually snickered at my plight and then said, "Wish granted."

I looked behind me fearfully and saw that I, indeed, now had a long monkey-like tail. Only it had dark-blue fur, instead of brown like Goku's...

[To Be Continued...]

* * *

1) This is a reference to the classic JRPG _Chrono Trigger_ , by Squaresoft. It had artwork by none other than Akira Toriyama, the creator of _Dragon Ball_. In the original _Dragon Ball_ manga Bulma had mentioned that the last recorded instance of where the dragon balls were used, someone had become king. It was never expanded upon, but it seemed like an obvious tie-in to me.

2) Think the tricorders from _Star Trek TOS_ and you got the basic idea of what I mean.

3) Just me poking fun at the _Dragon Ball Z_ anime.


	2. Growing Pains

**The Tail Of Bulma  
** A Dragon Ball Z Fanfiction

* * *

[Disclaimer]

I don't own this, that, or the other thing. I also didn't make any profit from this story, so please don't sue me. All characters, events and places are fictional, any relation or semblance to anything in reality is purely coincidence.

If you're confused about the perspective shifts then please keep in mind that when the story is in third person it's relating to present events, first person perspective is relating past events. And if the first person is a bit odd then please bear in mind that I'm a male writing a female's perspective. As for the contents of this story arc it is based on events from both the Namek Saga and the original _Dragon Ball_ , but from an alternate universe as Bulma is a saiyan in this story.

I hope you enjoy the story and review and, as always, please leave any feedback or constructive criticism. That is all.

* * *

[Growing Pains]

Bulma, the self-proclaimed fake saiyan, had just gotten telling the tale of the first dragon ball hunt she ever went on. It was a riveting story to Vegeta about an event that changed her life in many ways. He had no doubt that Bulma didn't make anything up and yet Vegeta wasn't sure how to react to what he just heard. So he settled for stunned disbelief.

"You mean to say all you have to do is ask a dragon for a tail and you'll become a saiyan? Really?"

Bulma laughed at his reaction in mirth. "Not likely, Vegeta."

The blue-haired woman was still laughing, but it was the good kind of laughter that Vegeta couldn't recall ever having heard in his entire life until that day. Normally he would show great displeasure towards people that laughed at him, but this laughter sounded good. It sounded right. He did suppose that it was a ridiculous suggestion, after all.

"Perhaps it was the way Kakarot phrased his wish? Since the only way you could have a tail like him you would first have to be a saiyan like him as well." Vegeta supplied, thinking heavily on the matter.

"That's exactly what it was, I believe. We didn't know it at the time but you have to really parse your wish very carefully because Shenlon has a sense of humor. I swear, though, sometimes I think he's like a monkey's paw." Bulma replied, her laughter finally dying down.

Vegeta had a bewildered expression on his face so Bulma decided to explain it to him. "It's an old myth (1) on my world. But mummified monkey paws are supposedly cursed items that can grant three wishes to whoever possesses them but it comes at a big price and grants those wishes in ways that can wind up destroying the wisher. I'm fairly certain that it's a load of crap though."

That actually wound up reassuring Vegeta for some reason. That and it was along the lines of what Bulma had stated earlier, magic existed but wish granting items were practically fairy tales. And those items were severely limited in power, most couldn't do half of what the dragon balls could do. He was pretty certain it had something to do with the physics of magic, which he never bothered to learn about as he didn't have the slightest interest in magic. All he knew was that, in the right hands, magic was every bit as devastating as his ki attacks.

Briefly, his eyes flicked over to Bulma. He had a feeling that she had enough knowledge on magic to give a lecture on it should she be of a mind to do so despite not having even an ounce of magic ability. Suddenly, in the back of his mind, he gotten the mental image of a little blue-haired girl that dreamed of becoming a witch and flying into the sky on the search for adventure.

Bulma's digital watch sounded in alarm, snapping Vegeta out of it, and she stood up with a stretch. "It's lunch time now. Are you hungry?"

"What a stupid question, woman. A saiyan warrior is _always_ hungry."

Laughing again, Bulma couldn't help but agree. While she did enjoy a good fight as much as the next saiyan, she preferred a good mental challenge. So she'd hardly consider herself a warrior yet she still had the massive appetite even though it wasn't anything compared to Goku's. That was probably more to do with the metabolism of saiyans though rather than being a warrior or not.

She reached into the dispensary and pulled out two food bars then returned to Vegeta's bedside. "Here you go, Vegeta."

"This is it? This couldn't even feed one of the lesser races, never mind a proper elite-class saiyan warrior!"

"Oh hush up, Vegeta." Bulma chided him with a stare. "Believe it or not, I developed these food bars myself. I know that it doesn't look like much and that the taste leaves much to be desired and it isn't safe for human consumption, but just one of these will met the nutrional requirements of a full-grown saiyan for a day, maybe two. I usually soak it up with a meat broth and eat it with a proper meal. But we don't have that option here, so this will have to do."

With that, Bulma bit into her own bar. Vegeta looked at the bar in his hand and realized how uncouth he was being. This was probably from the woman's personal rations and here she was offering him some. Him, who wasn't a friend and was barely an ally. He peeled off the shrink wrapping and watched as the food bar expanded in size some. Warily he bit into it. To the woman, who probably grew up eating decent home-cooked meals, she might have felt the taste lacking. But to Vegeta, who lived on meager portions of gruel unfit for even animal consumption, the bar was actually quite good.

As he slowly ate with the woman the thought occurred to him that the woman had been born a human. Sure she said it herself and didn't bother hiding it, but the transition from human to saiyan could not have been an easy one.

"So what happened after the wish was made, and how did you fare the transformation?" He asked finally, staring at the ceiling as he ate.

Bulma smiled, her mind millions of miles away and several years in the past...

* * *

I was still in shock, my tail twitching uselessly as I had yet to learn to control it properly. I barely could notice anything going on at that moment. Yamcha had me sit down to the side, Pilaf and his companions were lightly bound and then tossed into one of their own dungeons. Sure they were idiots, they stole our dragon balls, and tried to take over the world but they hadn't actually done anything worth killing them for. I'm pretty sure that Yamcha ransacked their treasury, he was a bandit after all. The shock began to wear off and I noticed Goku siting beside me with a worried look on his face. It was slowly becoming day, I realized.

"Say Goku, why did you make that wish?"

"I was being pressed to make a wish and the only thing I could think of was how you said it was cool that I had a tail." (2)

 _Oh yeah, I did say that._ I thought, recalling that I had said that the first night that we had met and I had given him a bath. It was something special and unique, even in a world full of so many strange things. And now I was touched that he wanted to share that with me, out of everybody in the whole world. I stroked my new tail, which was curled up in my lap, thinking on it. _I can definitely live with this new addition to me._

And over the months and years that followed not only did I come to live with my tail but I became rather fond and attached to it. These days I could no more part with it than I could my left hand.

"Are you upset with me Bulma?" Goku asked, looking up to me fearfully.

I shook my head no. "Sorry, it was just shock. I'll be fine now I promise."

We shared a grin as I ruffled his hair fondly. And everyone gathered together outside again, relived that I was now in better spirits. For some strange reason I felt more energized than normal, stronger too, and everything seemed more clear to me as if my senses have all been sharpened considerably. Or maybe it was just in my imagination?

"Okay! So we've become friends, collected the dragon balls, saved the world, and made a wish. I say this calls for a celebration! Let's get something to eat. My treat!" I exclaimed, clutching my capsule case until I heard an ominous creaking noise, I looked and saw that I had actually crushed the case without even realizing it. And it was not like it was one of those cheap plastic cases that the general population used, it was a military grade shock-proof case. You could probably drive a tank over it and not make a dent on it. _Okay, so not just my imagination._

Luckily most of my vehicle capsules were still intact. I let Yamcha take the capsules and directed him to deploy my hover bus, we loaded up and he flew us out. This newfound strength, whatever the origins of it, was going to be a serious hassle until I could get a handle on it. _Maybe I need some training,_ I thought. I snickered a little bit at that, realizing how much it made me sound like Goku.

He had said something about joining Mutten Roshi for training, maybe I'd go with Goku and learn how to control my strength. Hopefully the old man could keep his hands to himself.

Suddenly, Yamcha and I were joined by Oolong who wanted a word in private. "I appreciate the offer for a free meal and all, Bulma, but are you sure you can afford it especially with that bottomless pit back there?" He indicated with a wave of his hand in the general direction of Goku, who was playing a card game with Puar.

Okay, I guess this was it. _Time to come clean._ I thought to myself. "Oh, that won't be a problem. I'm Bulma Briefs, after all."

By the pricelessly shocked looks on Yamcha and Oolong's faces, I knew that they had to have heard of me.

"Huh." Yamcha said eloquently, the first to recover. "I thought you looked familiar for a while now. So that's why."

"That's your reaction Yamcha? 'So that's why'? If she hadn't confirmed her identity I wouldn't have made the connection. I mean she's so different from her public profile! No offense, Bulma."

There was none taken, I knew what he meant. I doubt anyone would believe it possible that I, Bulma Briefs, would be skulking about in the wilds or mixing it up with Red Ribon thugs using the kempo that I had learned for self-defense. But they accepted me for me. For the first time I had friends, real friends...

I had Yamcha take us to a bar that was holding an eating contest and entered Goku as a contestant. And then found out that my increased strength wasn't all that changed. I now had an appetite, a huge one. Before I had changed, a single meal a day was all I needed to satisfy my hunger. Now I was eating everything in sight as if I hadn't had a meal just the day previous. If there was any consolation, I was at least not as messy as Goku.

It was a serious source of annoyance and embarrassment to me and I would eventually learn to conquer it with the food bar that I would create months later.

And as we went to my home further into West City, I learned that my senses had been sharpened as I thought before. Sounds and smells that I never noticed before suddenly became practically overwhelming to me. I was every bit as miserable as Goku until we came to the Capsule Corporation, which was thankfully insulated from all that by necessity. My parents greeted us joyfully, glad to see me safely return home. Although they were understandably taken back when they saw I now had a tail. When they saw that Goku had a tail as well they seemed happy about it.

"You two could be brother and sister!" Panchy, my mother, exclaimed joyfully.

 _Goku, my brother?_ I looked at the cheeky little monkey, who was playing with my dad's cat Scratch. And I liked the idea, honestly. I already had an older sister (3), and I always wanted a younger sibling. Preferably a little brother. But my mother, despite her youthful appearance, was getting too old to bear any more children. And as far as I knew at the time, he had no other family apart from Son Gohan who had died a couple years earlier.

"Hey Goku, how about it? You want to be my little brother?"

He didn't even have to think twice about it. "Yeah, that'd be great!"

"Oh, that's great! Let's have some cake to celebrate!" My mother said in excitement. There were cheers from my friends, apart from Goku who didn't know what cake was.

He immediately perked up when I told him it was food and deflated when he saw what my, no our, mom brought in. "That doesn't look very filling." Goku complained, as if he hadn't just completely dominated an eating competition less than an hour before.

"It's not supposed to be filling, silly." I said as I cut him a slice. "Here, eat this one small bite at a time."

He complied, using his fork. Immediately his face lit up and he continued eating in earnest, leaving icing and crumbs on his face. "You're so messy, Goku. You need to learn some table manners." I chided, wiping off his face with a paper napkin.

"My my, Bulma. You're already so much like an older sister." My mother said brightly.

"Or a mother, one." Yamcha chimed in, laughing. I laughed along with my friends. _Me, a mother? As if._ I thought to myself.

My friends and I decided to camp out in the family room for the night, since we would be parting ways the next day.

My parents stayed up late with us as I recapped an abridged version of everything that I had been through the past month and a half. I may have left a thing or two out, just the parts where I was nearly eaten by dinosaurs. Or I got sacrificed by a village to the 'great and terrible lord Oolong'. Or I had to fight for my life against Red Ribon grunts. Or when Yamcha tried to rob us...

Okay, I left out quite a bit out. But I didn't want to worry my parents, so stop looking at me like that Vegeta.

I'm fairly certain they knew I left out some things, especially my mother. I know a lot of people see her as dim but she _is_ a veterinarian and a damned good one at that, and she was always aware of when I haven't been a hundred percent truthful. But they let it slide this time.

Goku had fallen asleep, his head on my lap and my tail curled protectively around his waist. And the rest of my friends were nodding off when I decided to tell my parents what was on my mind.

"Goku is leaving tomorrow to seek out training by Mutten Roshi, and I'm leaving with him."

My parents looked at me in shock and my father spoke up, "Why? What about school? You don't even have a full month until it starts back up again."

I dug into my vest pocket and showed him the capsule case I had damaged earlier. He didn't know what to make of it, because there was very little that could damage that particular case.

"I did that. The wish that Goku had made did more than give me a tail, it also made me much much stronger than the average human. If I can't learn how to control it I could severely hurt someone, or worse. As for school, I can do a home schooling course."

They didn't argue with me further, my reasons were perfectly valid. I was going to go training under Mutten Roshi.

Assuming I didn't kill the old pervert, first...

[To Be Continued...]

* * *

1) In real life _The Monkey's Paw_ is a short story written back in 1902 and not an old legend or myth at all.

2) In the original, Bulma actually freaked out about Goku's tail. Which never made any sense to me, considering how much weird stuff there was in _Dragon Ball._

3) In case you don't know, Bulma does have an older sister by the name of Tights Briefs. In this AU, Tights has a business major and is set to inherit Capsule Corps.

4) I'm pretty certain that Panchy Briefs is a housewife in the original series.


	3. Egg On Your Face

**The Tail Of Bulma  
** A Dragon Ball Z Fanfiction

[Disclaimer]

* * *

I don't own this, that, or the other thing. I also didn't make any profit from this story, so please don't sue me. All characters, events and places are fictional, any relation or semblance to anything in reality is purely coincidence.

If you're confused about the perspective shifts then please keep in mind that when the story is in third person it's relating to present events, first person perspective is relating past events. And if the first person is a bit odd then please bear in mind that I'm a male writing a female's perspective. As for the contents of this story arc it is based on events from both the Namek Saga and the original _Dragon Ball_ , but from an alternate universe as Bulma is a saiyan in this story.

I hope you enjoy the story and review and, as always, please leave any feedback or constructive criticism. That is all.

Revision note: This chapter was reworked after a reviewer pointed out a problem with the chapter, although I really wasn't satisfied with the chapter myself even if I couldn't put it into words why. But I'm glad that I did rewrite it into its now more perfect form... Okay, last time I borrow lines from Cell hahah. My next chapter is currently in the works, and I'm planning a surprise addition to the story to flesh it out more. Please look forward to it.

But to answer that same reviewer's question, while I fully intend to stay faithful to the original source material I don't plan on strictly following it otherwise I'd just be rehashing the entire series where the only difference is that Bulma is a saiyan. So I change some events, move others around, and ignore others (like the Oozaru transformation for example). The result is, I hope, a story that people will enjoy.

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[Egg On Your Face]

The blue-haired woman was taking a break from relating her tale to dispose of the shrink wrapping that the food bars came in since they were finished eating them. And her earlier claim had come true, the gnawing hunger that Vegeta had come to be accustomed to ever since he had come under Frieza's 'employ' was gone. This was the first time that had happened for as long as he could remember.

And Bulma had said she had developed the food bar herself, months after becoming a saiyan. Obviously that must have happened while she was still in training to control her new strength. And now he was curious about her training and the one called Mutten Roshi, who helped her become strong enough that she could fight on equal footing with him like she did when they first met as such a man was obviously deserving of respect. He was also curious why Bulma and Kakarot spared his life, and was healing him now when his life was in her hands.

He was close to answer, he felt. And listening to her speak of her past was bringing him ever closer to the answer he so desperately sought. Luckily, Bulma seemed to be in a talkative mood.

"Your training must've been something else." Vegeta finally said, hoping that would prompt her to tell him more of what he wanted, no needed, to hear.

The statement seemed to strike her as funny as she suddenly doubled over in laughter. Instead of getting impatient with her, Vegeta merely allowed her to get the laughter out of her system. A few seconds latter she calmed down, wiping tears from her eyes that had formed because of her intense laughter.

"Oh yeah, you can definitely say that it was 'something else' alright."

Vegeta quirked an eyebrow at her which nearly sent her into another fit of giggles. "How so?"

"It involved getting egg on my face, quite literally."

Eggs? As in the reproductive method used by many species on the majority of inhabited worlds across the galaxy? Always the one to speak his mind, Vegeta simply said, "Eggs?"

"Eggs." Bulma confirmed, obviously close to breaking out into laughter once again. "Lots and lots of eggs."

That night I tucked Goku under some covers and went to prepare for my imminent departure to train under the Kame Sen'nin. It consisted mostly of me sending in my letter of resignation from the school I was attending and setting up the means to get home schooling with my father's help since I would wind up destroying the computer if I tried using it at that moment. The books and materials would come to Capsule Corps until I could inform my parents of where to send them. I had to leave my vehicle capsules behind but took my house capsule, first-aid kit, and a satchel full of food capsules. It was past midnight when I finally returned to the family room and snuck under the covers with Goku.

The next morning I left my house with Goku and bid a fond farewell to my friends and was hugged by my parents one last time before leaving once again. Next came the part I was dreading since I made my decision to leave, because I knew that in order to make it to the ocean where we last seen Mutten Roshi in a timely manner without the use of a vehicle it would require that we would use the magical flying cloud Kinto'un.

Yes, you heard me right. I said magical flying cloud. It was Goku's gift from Mutten Roshi for helping his friend the sea turtle, where as mine was the dragon ball that he had had on his person at the time. And apparently it was very selective about who rode it, indicating some kind of sentience. I could ride it, although I was actually afraid of doing so despite the fact I had no such fear about riding my much faster jet bike. I was going to have to swallow my fear about riding the cloud, though.

I didn't enjoy the trip and I can barely remember most of it because I kept my eyes screwed shut except for the part where we stopped to get directions from a mermaid of all things. Which lead us to the Kame House. It was on a small island, and when I say small I mean small. It was scarcely bigger than the house that was on it. I didn't see how one person could reasonably live on it, and certainly didn't see how he could give any serious training there.

Whatever the case, I was very thankful to be on solid ground again. Goku and I called out the old pervert/martial arts master who was busy... Watching porn. Blushing, I clamped my hands over Goku's eyes and demanded that he turn that crap off. _No wonder he can't ride Kinto'un,_ I thought.

"My, my. Now what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Roshi asked after turning off his television.

"We were here to ask for training, but I'm beginning to have second thoughts about it now." Was my immediate reply.

He looked understandingly surprised, adjusting his shades. "Goku, I understand. But why would you want to train under me?"

I told him about the wish that Goku made and showed him my new appendage to prove it, which made him excited in a disturbing way I didn't want to think about, along with the crushed capsule case to prove my point about my increased strength. His entire demeanor then changed.

"It is quite a respectable thing that you're doing, seeking my training to control your strength young lady. But you must realize that my training is quite harsh and will serve to make you even stronger even if you don't want it to." He said with a seriousness I had previously thought impossible for the old man.

"I understand and accept that. I guess I also subconsciously wanted to see how far I can take my strength... However, you better keep your hands to yourself if it doesn't involve training." I said, belatedly thinking there was a loophole in there that he could use.

"You wound me, I would never put my hands on a student inappropriately. But first, I don't think I have had the pleasure of your name yet."

"Bulma." I said simply, not thinking he would believe me if I were to give him my full name.

He said nothing as he continued to stare at me. Maybe I was was imagining it but I got the distinct impression he was looking into what was in my heart.

"I see. Well Bulma, welcome to the Kame Sen'nin Ryu. You too, Goku. But before we get started, though, you might have noticed the size of the island is far too small for serious training for even two students. Add on to that, I'm expecting a third student as well. The daughter of a previous student, both of who you two have met already. So obviously we're going to have to move house to a bigger island, if you'll forgive the pun."

I looked at the Kame House in surprise, it looked like a normal if old house to me. "That's a capsule house? I don't recognize the model. Is it a custom job?" I asked knowledgeably.

If the old man was surprised by my display of knowledge, he didn't show it. "That's right, Bulma. Although it will be a tight fit with three students."

"That's alright, I brought my own capsule house with me. You know, just in case you didn't have room for us. And for privacy of course." I said, winking at him. "Oh, before I forget. I should also mention it has point defense lasers to ward off monsters, animals, intruders, and perverted old men. Just for your information."

He just laughed nervously, sweat dropping.

"Excuse me, gramps? Are you expecting any other visitors?" Goku shouted out, having been staring out over the ocean. I looked out and saw what he was talking about. It was a rowboat with a single occupant at the oars and it was headed directly to the small island, although how someone managed to get a rowboat so far into sea was a mystery to me.

"Not as such, the third student will be meeting us at our destination. I wonder who that could be?"

He was answered momentarily when it made landfall right before us and out stepped a short kid I guessed to be about Goku's age. He was bald and, if I had to go by his clothes, he was a warrior monk. I didn't know about Goku or Roshi, but I was certainly impressed by his physical prowess.

"Hello honored Mutten Roshi. I am Krillin, formerly of the Oron temple. I have come for training under your tutelage."

And so I met Krillin for the first time. Yes, the very same man that blew away your saibamen when you arrived on chikyuu. He used to be such a sly young boy. Even with his polite manner of appealing to Roshi I could tell, it was his strange way of smiling that gave it away.

But his hopes were quickly dashed. "I'm sorry young man, but I already have three students. Four might be more than I can handle."

Krillin was not so easily dissuaded and moved in closely to say something discreet as he pulled out a package wrapped in brown paper and bound by twine. I knew where this was going.

"Welcome to the Kame Sen'nin Ryu, my boy!" Roshi exclaimed excitedly with an obvious nosebleed.

 _So my master was just bribed by porn._ I thought to myself with a sigh, resigning to the inevitable.

After capsulizing his house, Roshi surprised me again by deploying what looked to be an old model miniature flying submarine (1) that could at most hold three people and then invited me to ride with him. Naturally I opted to take the Kinto'un instead, my fear be damned because there was no way I was going to ride in such a small vehicle alone with him.

The journey was mercifully short and we were approaching a sizable island. From our high altitude we could see a settlement that, according to my map, was called Penguin Village (2). At our intended landing site there was already an air car and two people that I recognized immediately even from a distance.

It was Chi-Chi, who had ditched what could be dubiously termed 'armor' in favor of a more traditional garb of her people, and her physically imposing father, Gyu Ma'o the Ox King.

Goku and I laughed as we landed and then ran to greet the two people we had meet at Frypan Mountain during our first dragon ball hunt.

Apparently she had been so impressed by Mutten Roshi and Goku that she wanted to train in the martial arts. Her father trained her in the basics, then beseeched his former master to train her in the more advanced aspects as he wasn't very good at them and his daughter was already showing that she was better at it than he was. Gyu Ma'o bade her farewell after instructing Chi-Chi to listen to Mutten Roshi and then left in the air car, most likely back to Frypan Mountain.

Goku and I introduced Chi-Chi and Krillin, who didn't know whether to stare at her or me, to each other but before we could all get more acquainted Roshi beckoned the boys over to him.

After a few minutes of hushed discussion that I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to be privy to, the boys leapt on to Kinto'un or rather Goku leapt on to the magical little cloud and Krillin fell right through. A moment latter, after recovering, an embarrassed Krillin settled for riding piggyback on Goku. I couldn't help but laugh at his embarrassment.

"Where are the boys going?" Chi-Chi asked, clearly interested.

"Nowhere you need to worry about, just taking care of something that we need before we get to training. And while I need to go to Penguin Village to set something up with the locals, I need you two to set up the capsule houses here. Do you think you can do that?"

We nodded, smiling at Roshi. And while we got to our assigned request, Roshi rode off in his vehicle to Penguin Village. It didn't take long to set up the houses on either ends of the clearing we had originally landed in, though I obviously had to delegate the simple task to Chi-Chi.

"This crap is seriously getting old," I complained out loud. "I can't wait until I get a handle on this monstrous strength."

"Now now, I'm sure you will soon Bulma." Chi-Chi reassured me with a smile on her face.

Mutten Roshi came back a few hours later later and wouldn't say what he had been up to, the boys didn't come back until late in the afternoon and they weren't alone. They had with them a young woman with blue hair a few shades darker than my own and a body fitting of a swimsuit calendar model, furthermore she apparently had no problem riding kinto'un. Krillin was happily sitting in her lap, the sly little punk. I was actually a little jealous of him at that point.

I shot Roshi a withering glare, he just laughed. "Oh come on now, don't give me that look Bulma. I have four students to keep track of and to train. We need someone to take care of the houses, prepare meals, and so forth."

It was a little infuriating that he had a valid point.

While the woman introduced herself as Launch I couldn't help but notice the satchel at her hip, full of zeni. "What's with all that money, Launch?" I asked in curiosity.

She looked genuinely at a loss and then replied. "I'm not sure, I think I might've robbed a bank again."

"LOLwut?" Was my eloquent reply.

The woman had a dynamite body which wasn't concealed very well by her short-sleeved clothes, and I doubt that she was a hundred pounds soaking wet. With that and her obviously meek personality she couldn't have hurt a fly, never mind knock over a bank.

Krillin and Roshi were laughing at what they thought was a joke when a random fly flew past Launch's nose, causing her to sneeze. And then all hell broke loose.

Suddenly her hair changed colors from a dark blue to a brilliant blonde, the look on her face morphed to a sneer, and her personality undertook a more jarring transformation. At first she seemed confused about where she was but that confusion didn't last long as she reached into her bag and drew out a compact machine gun.

Since I was the closest I reacted first and tried to wrench the weapon out of her hand, but only succeeded in crushing the firearm, while Goku knocked her out using that strange staff of his.

"For once I'm glad I don't know my own strength." I said, laughing nervously.

Later, when Launch returned to normal, I learned that she had been cursed at a young age to switch personalities any time she sneezed although she wasn't very certain just how or why she had been cursed. I had no reason to doubt her story though since I had seen it firsthand. I don't know why, but Roshi kept her around even knowing how unstable Launch was.

After everything had calmed down, Roshi gave us students the rest of the day off to rest and prepare for training...

The following day started bright and early, during those predawn hours that I couldn't recall having ever seen before in my life. Mutten Roshi was already awake and waiting outside to walk us through the training. First he told us that having all four of us training at the same time wasn't really going to work so he'd have us pair up and have one pair do full-training with the other doing half-training, the pairs would swap on alternative days and he'd change up the pairs randomly at the beginning of each week. He also said that weekends would be free as training seven days a week was actually counterproductive.

The first week, he announced to us, Chi-Chi and I would be paired up and Goku and Krillin would be paired up.

And then he took us through our training. At first everything seemed to be going fine, the training seemed simple enough that even I was able to keep up. And then it got tougher and more physically demanding as the day progressed.

It started with a simple run. Up a mountain. To get milk from a farm ran by a female Minotaur with six breasts. Oh, did I forget to mention that this mountain had a face? No, not like what you're thinking but something like a human's face only cartoony. Apparently the Kami and Yokai (3) are really fond of Penguin Village, because half of the things that would normally be inanimate aren't. Go figure.

From there we had to deliver the milk, obviously. Only we had to alternate between zig-zagging and bunny hopping. Goku and Krillin were the ones lugging the milk while Chi-Chi and I kept pace with them and then I suddenly realized what Roshi had ment about the teams swapping earlier. Chi-Chi and I would be the ones lugging the milk the next day.

After we successfully delivered the milk, we all found ourselves on a farm. Where the boys had to tend to the fields. Bare-handed. Chi-Chi and I would obviously be doing that the next day but for the time being we had to keep water coming to the boys lest they become dehydrated.

Lastly we had to go swimming in a lake. But just swimming laps around a lake while exhausted was apparently not hard enough because the lake had a massive, man-eating megalodon living in it! Just how a giant shark that normally kept to the deep depths of the ocean came to be in a lake is beyond me.

By the end of the day, even the indomitable Goku was dominated.

We came to rest in a clearing outside of Penguin Village with several large boulders and tree stumps. He demonstrated to us some of the feats that his training could do by effortlessly moving a boulder the size of a house. He informed us that our training would be finished when could all move it as well.

"The things you have did today are the things that all of you will be doing for the next few months, except it won't be so easy to do as today because you'll need to be doing it while wearing these," Mutten Roshi announced, producing large turtle shells similar to the one he wore on his back. Us students nearly fell over at that point. "Now, before we turn in for the evening I have one last little bit of training solely for Bulma but in which I want each of you to participate in. Bulma, if you could stand at that tree stump we'll get started."

Warily I did as the old master asked, and he produced a basket full of eggs. Small, white, ovoid, eggs. _What's this about?_ I thought to myself and in a moment I got my answer when Mutten Roshi exclaimed, "Catch!"

Suddenly I had egg on my face. See? I told you I was being quite literal when I said that.

"As you know, eggs are quite fragile. So if you can catch all the eggs in this basket without them breaking you can consider your strength conquered (4). Once you do that, I'll move on your training to something else to further refine your strength."

He then divided the remaining eggs into thirds for Chi-Chi, Goku, and Krillin and commanded them to toss the eggs at me. Which they did with more enthusiasm for the task than needed if you were to ask me. As they threw the eggs at me I made mental notes about who had the best hit/miss ratios. Chi-Chi was able to hit me with most of her eggs, Krillin missed a little more than half the time, and I don't think Goku even came close a single time with how hard and wild he threw the eggs.

Covered in eggs I then realized that it wasn't just training for me after all, he was training the others as well the sly old codger. Regardless, I failed to catch a single egg without breaking it which made me realize that apart from needing to control my strength I would also need to develop my reflexes. So I ended the day covered in eggs.

I spent the next month and a half like that undertaking the grueling of Mutten Roshi during the day, trying to catch eggs at night, during the weekends I enjoyed playful sparing with the other students who teached me some more martial arts, I came up with a game with Goku where we'd spar only using our tails to try and hit each other, and I came up with different formulas to try create a nutritional supplement for Goku and myself. Add on to that, I also had my school work and I had taken it upon myself to tutor Goku.

This was because he was woefully uneducated at that point and Mutten Roshi was going to do it and I put my foot down as Goku's adoptive older sister. There was no telling just what the old pervert would try to teach him. At first tutoring Goku was an uphill struggle until I related everything to either food or fighting, then it became much easier.

After a month and a half I finally managed to catch an entire basket of eggs without breaking a single one under the watchful gaze of Mutten Roshi and started flinging them back at Chi-Chi, Krillin, and Goku. It quickly devolved into a proper food fight in which Roshi gotten dragged into. After we collapsed, covered in eggs and laughing, Roshi proudly declared the egg training over. He said he'd have my next training regimen ready for me during the weekend and he assured me it didn't involve eggs.

It was around that time that I also completed the formula for the food bars, I just needed to send it off home and get it produced. I was feeling very proud of myself at this point. That weekend, instead of kicking back with my friends, I journeyed into Penguin Village with Roshi. It was a small, sell-sustained village with a hundred some-odd people in it where everybody probably knew everybody else. The only time I or any of the others really spent any time there was to deliver milk during training.

I have yet to see any capsules used there, Penguin Village was so effectively isolated from the rest of the world. Which made me wonder just what I was going to do for training. And then I found myself in the garage of Senbei Norimaki, who claimed to be some kind of world-renowned genius inventor and scientist. Heh, if only he had known who he was dealing with.

Because of just who exactly my father is, I've rubbed elbows with actual world-renowned scientists and inventors. And quite frankly I had never heard of the man. I would latter hear from the villagers that he mostly fixed up tools and engines around the island and he dabbled in tinkering. Which would make him a shade-tree mechanic and there's no shame in that, because my grandfather was one as well and I took after him in that respect because I am happiest turning a wrench. Yet he somehow managed to create the happy-go-lucky robot girl Arale, but I guess that was hardly an isolated incident since that Dr Hikaru Light fellow created the robot named Rock (5).

Then I learned that my training there would consist of assisting Dr Slump, as he was known in the village, in his garage. I would be tinkering with the junk he had accumulated over the years so if I wrecked anything it would be no big loss. But still, it was a little weird that Roshi would choose training so obviously suited for me.

I spent the next two months assisting Dr Slump in his garage, during which I had learned that he was nearly as lecherous as Roshi, but it honestly didn't take that long for me to stop destroying stuff in his garage after I had already mastered the egg training, although I guess it was something instinctual at that point having spent many an hour tinkering in my father's lab that allowed me to remaster my skills. I just kept on coming back because it's something I enjoyed, and still do, anyhow.

It was at the end of those two months when our training under Roshi came to a close, but not before we ran into the Red Ribbon Army yet again...

[To Be Continued...]

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I had made a mistake last chapter with the name of Bulma's mother and had accidentally uploaded it uncorrected. But I have since corrected it when it was pointed out to me. Thank you, guest, for bringing it to my attention and toBut all the positive reviews from everyone so far.

1) Mutten Roshi had one that was used by Krillin and Launch to shop for groceries, but for some odd reason he didn't use to get to the training grounds during the training arc.

2) Penguin Village is the setting for _Dr Slump_ , a manga series also by Akira Toriyama. I should hasten to add that I haven't actually read the manga series at all. So the characters and settings in this story are based purely on guess work on my part so may be way off the mark. In the original training arc, it took place at a location that I believe was unnamed so I decided to change the location on a whim.

3) Spiritual entities in Japanese folklore that sometimes inhabit inanimate objects and so forth, sometimes animating them. Apparently a lot of things (including a mountain) in Penguin Village are animated and have human features so it seems likely that there are a lot of Kami and/or Yokai there.

4) This is a training method I swear that was used by a superhero with super strength, although I may have altered it a bit. And I can't for the life of me remember where I seen it before.

5) Yes, I am referring to _Megaman._


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